JAMES CRUISE Ministries Blog

God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.

Archive for the month “September, 2012”

Rebuilding Together—You & Your Kids

It’s important that you and your children rebuild your hurts and broken lives together as a family.  Hand in hand.  Side by side.  You need to circle the wagons and take care of yourselves before you try to live in the real world again.  Shared activities can really bring you and your children closer together as a family.  What are you doing to bring closeness to your family?

Talking About Your Divorce To Your Children

When talking with your children about your divorce or separation tell them the truth in love.  Your kids are looking to you for direction in how to act in their changed situation.  They are always watching you and listening to you.  Your ex is still your children’s parent.  No one wins when you fight.  You must forgive in such a way that your children learn the lesson of true forgiveness.  Show them how to move past anger and bitterness.  If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything.  How is your relationship with your ex right now?

Where do your children fit in now?

Your children loved you and their other parent before whatever has happened. Your children still love you both.  If the other parent died your children may now love them more than they did when they were alive.  Your children will constantly ask questions to find out where they fit in their new situation.  They want to be assured that they are still loved by you and your former spouse.  They want to be reminded that you still love them.  Tell them how proud you are to be their parent and how much you love them.  Tell and show them often…

Answer Your Children’s Questions

Your children are probably confused, hurt, feel a little bit abandoned and are full of unanswered questions.  They are in need of a little extra tender loving care with all that’s been going on lately.  Have you sat down with them and answered some of their questions face to face?  What do you want to tell them?

Never Married

Never Married—Oops

38.5% of all births are to unmarried women. 

Admit your mistake.  Tell your children about consequences.  Tell them over and over how much you love them and that they are the best thing that ever happened to you.  Talk in a positive light.  Make your children feel like winners.  Remind them that you aren’t perfect.  Tell them that you made a mistake in judgment but that they are not a mistake.  They are your jewel.  Make it okay for them to ask questions.  What types of questions have your kids started asking?

A Time to Go S-L-O-W…

If you have just recently become a single parent you need to keep major changes to a minimum.  Try not to change things like home, schools, church, activities and friends. Now is a time to go S-L-O-W. Take it easy as you learn to adjust to your new life as a single parent.

Two Homes—Sharing Your Children

Make your children feel at home wherever they are.  Make each parent’s residence feel like “home” to your children.  Adjusting from home to home can cause confusion in your children’s minds. 

  • Keep necessary things at both homes for the kids comfort. Example: toothpaste, brush, toys, etc.
  • Make responsibilities and chores fair at both homes.
  • Establish similar bedtimes at both homes.
  • Always allow the children to call their other parent.  Keep the phone lines open.
  • Give each child a calendar and highlight the days they will spend with you.
  • Try to keep similar house rules at each home.  Don’t confuse the children.
  • Set up a schedule for when the children stay at each home and stick to it.
  • Try to stay consistent when it comes to the children’s schedules.
  • Make sure both homes receive the same information such as announcements & report cards.
  • It takes one to three days for your kids to settle down into a routine once they change homes.
  • Schedule some one-on-one time with each child while you are together. Make them feel wanted.

Check Us Out!

Check us out! We can be found at these 3 unique places:

 

 

 

 

Website  www.jamescruise.com

Blog  www.jamescruise.wordpress.com

Facebook   http://www.facebook.com/jamescruiseministries

SUPER, That’s YOU!

The definition of super is:  superior, excellent, first-rate, terrific, exceptionally fine, a caretaker, of the highest quality, top notch, tip top, above average, wonderful, marvelous, outstanding, smashing, superb, sensational, awesome, out of this world, Jim Dandy. Yes, as a single parent you are definitely SUPER!

 

“Be a first rate version of yourself,

not a second rate version of someone else.”  Judy Garland

What Would You Do?

Mary is a single parent mother whose husband, Bob fell in love with someone else and divorced Mary a year ago.  Mary has custody of their four children, Ellen, Donna, David and Joy.  She is thirty seven years old and was, she thought, happily married to Bob for fifteen years.  Her children are twelve, nine, seven and four years old.  Mary and Bob met in college and fell instantly in love.  They married immediately after graduating together.  Bob was Mary’s dream mate.  Bob became involved with a younger woman at work.  One day he told Mary he was in love with someone else.  He moved out of the house that same day.  Mary was and is still devastated.  She cries all the time, wishes they were back together and is having a hard time moving on with her new life as a single parent.  What helpful advice would you give Mary?

Post Navigation