JAMES CRUISE Ministries Blog

God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.

Archive for the month “October, 2012”

Build Up an Emergency Fund

Single Parent families in trouble can tell you how quickly a “rainy day” fund disappears in a real emergency. From buying extra food, paying unexpected medical bills, to miscellaneous other occurrences. It’s easy to blow through several hundred dollars during these times –– let alone the money you might spend on just daily normal expenses.

Emergencies can happen at any time. So even if you’re not a single parent family in an emergency now, let this be a reminder to firm up your emergency savings fund.

A word of caution: don’t fall into the trap of “all or nothing” thinking. You don’t have to wait until you have $100 or more to set aside. Save whatever you can –– $10 or $20 here and there starts to add up quickly.

A fully funded emergency fund – for emergencies only – is 3–6 months of your personal expenses set aside in a savings account dedicated solely for emergencies.

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Remember: You’re Vulnerable

What you have and are going through is traumatic and life changing.

You’ve been hit in your gut.  It hurts, it hurts badly.

Be gentle with yourself.

Accept that it will take you and your children a while before you completely adjust.

Treat yourself with the same care and affection you would give a good friend in a similar situation.

Try to avoid situations that upset you, for the moment.

And don’t blame yourself for any “mistakes” (either real or imagined) that you think you have made that have brought you to where you are today.

Go at your own pace as much as possible.

You will heal and get better. Guaranteed!

“Real love hurts, real love makes you totally open and vulnerable.”

Bad Day – Good Life

 

So you’re having a bad day – it will be over soon.

Everybody has bad days – even single parents.

Your children may be having a bad day, too.

A good life is made up of both good days and bad days – usually more good than bad.

Having a bad day – it too shall pass!

 “Try again.  Fail again.  Fail better.”     Samuel Beckett

 “I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.”   Henry Moore

 “I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.”  Denis Waitely

 “This too, shall pass.”    William Shakespeare

Patience…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Work at being a single parent on your own timetable.

Don’t expect everything to come together immediately – it will take time.

You will adjust to your changed life eventually.

Listen to your inner self.  You know what is right for you better than anyone else.

Don’t rush.

Wait, trust, and expect good things to happen in your new life.

Let time work for you.

 “Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.” Unknown 

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” John Quincy Adams

Attitude

Being a single parent is an attitude.

Your positive ATTITUDE = Your SUCCESS

Positive always overcomes negative.

Good times over shadow bad times.

“YES” gets better results than “NO”.

Your attitude is controlled by you – not your situation.

Your children’s attitudes = Their successes.

It’s your job to keep your children’s attitudes in a positive direction.

You and your children’s attitudes = your family’s successes.

You are responsible for your attitude, your actions and your reactions concerning where you are now, and will be in the future.

 “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” Charles R. Swindoll

Appreciation

You must first appreciate YOURSELF.

You must also appreciate your CHILDREN.

You must learn to appreciate the good in your situation.

You must appreciate those in your life that help you.

You must appreciate those in your life that love you.

Show appreciation with a Smile and a sincere Thank You. 

Now SMILE and say THANK YOU – Didn’t that feel good?

Your children will appreciate you, even though they may not always tell you so.

Your children need to be appreciated by you.

You need to be appreciated by your children.

Those that help you need to be appreciated.

Keep it simple – keep it sincere.

Appreciation always feels good!

 “We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way.”  Unknown

 “Always remember, everyone is hungry for praise and starving for honest appreciation!”   David Brandt Berg

Put Your Words into Action

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All of us will say we love our children. The question is: what are you doing about it? Our actions speak the loudest, not our words. Put your words into action. That’s what your children want. They want you and your time. Yes, your T-I-M-E. So hop to it… They’ll love you for it!

A Must Read Book About Marriage

Whether you’re getting married in six months—or have been married 60 years—you’ll get solutions you can use. With biblical advice and a healthy dose of laughter, Dr. Chapman gives valuable tips on breaking unhealthy patterns and choosing to develop a God-honoring, happy marriage.

Couples both married and engaged will benefit from practical sessions addressing topics like communication differences, dealing with criticism, understanding love languages, and making sex mutually fulfilling.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. Mark 10:9

Your Children’s Top Needs

Below are some of the deepest needs in a child’s relationship within their family.

How many of these does your family give your children?

Affection

Self Esteem

Security

Financial Support

Family Activities

Personal Space

Stability

Patience

Respect

Truthfulness

Commitment

Trust

Sense of Family

Love

Confidence

HOPE

A Must, Must Read for Single Parents & Dating

If you are a single parent who is currently dating or thinking about starting a dating relationship, stepfamily expert Ron Deal can help you navigate the waters, …

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