JAMES CRUISE Ministries Blog

God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.

Archive for the month “April, 2013”

Cooking – You and the Kitchen

The more you cook, the better and more confident you will become.  As with anything else…

It’s a learning experience.

Cook healthy – not what your children want.

Cooking is all about planning ahead and having ingredients on hand when they are needed.

Keep a grocery list on the refrigerator.  When you use up something, immediately add it to the grocery list.

Don’t forget to take your grocery list with you to the grocery.  Opps!   It will cost you if you forget it at home.

KISS – Keep it simple stupid.   Don’t get overly fancy with your cooking.  Simple is good enough.

Reorganize your kitchen so you feel comfortable with it and you know where everything is.

Buy what utensils you need.  Buy for function, not looks.

Ask others for their favorite recipes.

A crock pot can be your best friend, it’s easy.

Children like routine in their meals:

  • Monday         Chicken
  • Tuesday        Spaghetti
  • Wednesday Soup
  • Thursday       Casserole
  • Friday                        Pizza night
  • Saturday        Sandwiches
  • Sunday          Eat out after Church

Get your children to help set the table.

Let each child get their own drink.

Get each child to take their own dishes from the table and wash their own dishes.  Their desert depends on this.

Sit down with your children and make out a list together of foods your children like to eat and will eat.

On days when there is just not enough time to cook a full meal, you can have some quick food that you and your children have previously picked out.

kids in kitchen

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Dating – Beware of the Rebound

Rushing back into dating sets you up for failure.

Don’t settle for just anyone.  You deserve the best.  He or she is worth waiting for.

You need to check out the field – you can go out with several people, none of them seriously.

Keep it as low-key as you can.

Say NO to a serious relationship at this time.

Say YES to several noncommittal, just for fun outings.

You need time to adjust to your new surroundings.

Keep sex out of the equation.

Many single parents become way too social immediately after becoming single which can lead to poor choices.

Your children are 2 years behind you emotionally, when it comes to wanting a dating relationship.

“Even though the person you’re dating may feel like your life partner, your children may not be ready to share you with them.” Ron L. Deal

“We know storms are inevitable. It’s critical to determine whether the person you’re dating is someone who’s going to lay a firm foundation with you to withstand them.” Ron L. Deal

dating

 

Doubt

Yes, you doubt, but you are stronger than you think and you will persevere.

Doubt is only natural, not debilitating.

You doubt yourself and your situation.  But don’t quit, No never, no matter how slow it seems to take.

You and your children are well worth the effort you make.

Doubt and action are incompatible.

Everyone doubts – It’s OK to doubt.

Don’t let your doubts stop you from acting.

When in doubt concerning your children, confer with them to relieve your doubts.

If you don’t act on your doubts, your doubts will grow.

You overcome doubt with ACTION.

Doubt a little, put into action much.

Anything you ever do must survive doubt.

When you doubt, ask someone you trust and then take action.

 

“Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom.” George Iles

 

“Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous.” Voltaire

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Divorce and You

Being divorced only means you and your Ex spouse don’t live in the same house.

You are still connected to your Ex through your children.

Divorces are almost always destructive to the children.

The children didn’t ask for this.

The most important consideration in a divorce should be the well being of the children.

The children need to be sheltered from the anger and hurt that divorces cause, as much as possible.

It doesn’t matter why your divorce happened.  It’s now about how you and your Ex see your children’s futures in their new situation.

Professional counseling may be needed to help you, your Ex spouse or your children work through this transition.

Divorce leads your children to wondering where they now fit in with you and your Ex.

“A divorce is like an amputation; you survive it, but there’s less of you.” Margaret Atwood

Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract and relationships are work.” Lori Gordon

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.” Miguel de Cervantes

divorce cake

 

 

 

Your Kid’s Role – In Single Parenting

To make your single parent situation work for you and your children, your children have to be on board with you.

They control more than you think or want to believe to the ultimate success of your new family situation.

They can make or break your new family structure.

They will probably affect your situation both positively and negatively as they try to figure out where they fit in.

Remember, it’s now you and your children and maybe the other parent, depending on your reason for being single.  It really is now all about the children.

You must work with your children now on all things that affect your family.

If you and your children get along and work together your chances of success are greatly increased.  On the other hand, if you and your children don’t get along and don’t work together your chances of success are greatly diminished.

You are all in this for the long haul.  The rest of your lives!  It’s that important.

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress;

working together is success.” Henry Ford

“If everyone is moving forward together,

 then success takes care of itself.”

                                                                                                  Henry Ford

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Check Your Progress

Ask someone close to you how they think you are doing.

Get a Mentor or Share Partner.

Talk with a professional counselor.

Become a member of a small group at your church.

Find a quiet place with privacy where you can be alone and meditate and contemplate about you and your situation.  Search inward to find out how you fill about yourself.

How do you rate yourself on different areas of being a single parent?

Rate Yourself:

A = Terrific

B = OK

C = Needs Help

“One of the barometers indicating how well you are doing is how long it takes you to turn to the Lord in a time of need.”  Welby O’Brien

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what?

Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”   Mark Victor Hansen

prgrsrpt

 

    

 

Onesy in a Twosy World

So you are now a single-parent in a two-parent world!

The first thing you need to know about being a single parent is that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!

You may struggle with the fact that this could have happened to you.

It is real.  It has happened.

Recognize that a gigantic change has taken place in your life.

You may wonder if you can handle being a simple parent.

You are now not a part of your previous world of couples.

You can handle being a onesy.

You will handle being a onesy.

Don’t deny it or try to cover it up. Don’t try to run away from it.  Be with it.  It’s who you are NOW.

You are now a SINGLE PARENT.

But you are still a Mother or a Father.  Just single, now!  Just going it alone!

You were once a Onesy before you married.  Now you are just a Onesy with children.  Piece of cake!  You can adjust and do it.

onesie--twosie-85165917

Grandparents – Stay Close to Them

Your grandparents can be your most prized assets as a single parent.

Your children have two sets of grandparents: your side of the family and your ex’s side of the family.

Your children need both sets of grandparents actively in their lives.

Grandparents are important to your children because your children love and respect them.

They are vital to the emotional well being of your children.

It’s very important that your children stay in contact with BOTH sets of grandparents.  Your children need ALL their grandparents.

They can help baby-sit your children.

Grandparents can help you with financial needs.

Grandparents spend an average of $500 per year for each of their grand children according to a recent AARP survey.

52% reported helping with their grand children’s educations.

45% helped pay for their grand children’s basic living expenses.

They can provide you with free child-care.

Keep your children in touch with all their grandparents.

Grandparents are babysitters who watch the kids instead of the television.

Grandparents can add stability into your children’s lives.

They can be great role models for your children.

You need to be the facilitator of your children’s grandparent – grand child relationship.

“If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.”    Italian Proverb

 “A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart.”  Author Unknown

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AUTHORITY – Running Your Home – Who’s In Charge?

You and you alone are in charge of running your home.  Not your children, not your ex-spouse, not anyone else.  Only You!  Period!

It’s your life, control your own destiny.

You’re the adult – They’re the children.

Your children should not run their own lives, you know what’s best for them.

You rule your house, it does not rule you.

You will feel better and less stressed when things are under YOUR CONTROL.

 

“Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes.”   Chinese Proverb

“The wisest have the most authority.” Plato

in-charge

 

Men’s Conference – Jackson,MS

This coming weekend…..
ATTENTION: Men, husbands, fathers, sons, grandfathers, & single parent dads who live in the Jackson, Mississippi area. You absolutely want to know about the upcoming Men’s Conference on Friday, April 19 – 6:00PM-9:00PM & Saturday, April 20 – 9:00AM-12:00PM. Sponsored by First Baptist Church Jackson. Cost:$10 –  Box supper is provided with admission. Speaker: Voddie Baucham  You can Register online at www.fbcj.org  For questions call Don Waller at 601-946-1290

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