JAMES CRUISE Ministries Blog

God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.

Archive for the month “May, 2013”

The Best Is Yet To Come!

My journey is only one of millions. We each have our own unique story that develops as we travel through this life. God would have us all learn great lessons as we go our way and use those to help others as they to struggle. There are miracles taking place all around us but many times we only see our current problem. May the scales fall from your eyes and may you begin to see clearly the wonder of your own journey.

From “Many a Tear Has to Fall” by Wayne Hudson

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35 Steps to a Better Life

What I’m going to share with you today is a version of a popular email forward. The author is unknown. But because the advice is so simple and foundational, it’s probably worth reviewing again.

What strikes you will be dependent upon what’s going on in your life.  I hope what sticks with you will be the thing you need to work on.

  1. Pray.
  2. Go to bed on time.
  3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
  4. Say NO to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your mental health.
  5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
  6. Simplify and un-clutter your life.
  7. Less is more.
  8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
  9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.
  10. Take one day at a time.
  11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do, and let go of the anxiety. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.
  12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
  13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
  14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
  15. Do something for the Kid in You every day.
  16. Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line.
  17. Eat right.
  18. Get your mail, papers and files organized.
  19. Listen to a CD or MP3 that can help improve your quality of life…
  20. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
  21. Every day, find time to be alone.
  22. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.
  23. Make friends with Godly people.
  24. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
  25. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good ‘Thank you GOD.’
  26. Laugh.
  27. Laugh some more!
  28. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
  29. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
  30. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
  31. Sit on your ego.
  32. Talk less; listen more.
  33. Slow down.
  34. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
  35. Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before.

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Relatives – Single Parent Style

Your relationships with your relatives will change.

Your family relationships are most important to you and your children right now in your lives.  Whether you believe it or not!

You and your children will become closer and more involved with some relatives  and further away and less involved with some relatives.

Some relatives feel they must choose sides after a divorce.

Be respectful of your Ex’s relatives.

Your children won’t understand why certain relationships have changed.

Try to stay as close to your relatives as is possible.  If not for your sake, then for your children’s sake!

Children want to belong, especially when it comes to their family and relatives.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.”

                                                                                                             Anthony Brandt

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:

 Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”

                                                                                                          Jane Howard

 

“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.”

                                                                                                           Eva BurrowsSW Relatives

Rebellion – Your Child

Your children didn’t ask for what has happened to them.

Children rebel because they hurt on the inside and can’t always handle the hurt in proper ways.

Your child is probably hurt and doesn’t know how to handle the hurt.

The only thing that overcomes rebellion is your unwavering LOVE to your rebellious child.

It will take time.  Love is not instant.  Love takes time to take hold.  Love will have the final say.

Rebellion is one of the cries for help from a child in crisis.

Children rebel in both single parent families and traditional two parent families.

The level of rebellion can increase with time, the longer it goes untreated.

You may need to get professional therapy if your child is rebellious.

Your child’s rebellion usually disappears when the cause of their rebellion is identified and treated.

Your child may rebel against you due to their confusion with what all is happening in their lives at the moment.

Remember, hurting people hurt other people.

“I went through a period of great rebellion within my family, when I was about 9 or 10. I was mad, I had no focus, had no real interest in anything, and so I started to do things that were just rebellious and stupid.”                                                                                                            Kevin Spacey

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Professional Help – If You or Your Children Need It – Get It at Once

If you think you need it – get it at once.

If you think one of your children needs it – get it at once.

Don’t be brave.  This is not the time.

It takes courage to ask for help.

For help, look in the yellow pages.

Call your church, they almost always can help or know where to find help for you.

Get help if you feel that you are loosing it or coming apart.

If you feel you might do something to one of your children get help.

If you repeatedly feel you are in situations that overwhelm you get help.

Professional counseling and therapy will help you heal and be happy again.

It’s a way to move from painful hurts to a positive future.

Do it if you think you need it…

Professional counseling and therapy are positives, not negatives.

It isn’t just for the rich and famous.  It doesn’t have to cost a lot.

Check your health insurance provider – it may pay for your visits.

There are many low-cost or no-cost clinics now available to all.

Professional counselors and therapists give regular people like yourself who just need a little help overcoming tough times to get your life back on track.

“We may define therapy as a search for value.” Abraham Maslow

I recommend these professional programs:

DivorceCare   www.divorcecare.org

GriefShare   www.griefshare.org

DivorceCare4Kids   http://www.dc4k.org

Counseling Services at a local church near youHELP1

Pray

Yes pray…

Praying is just talking to God.  Sharing with Him.

Don’t forget God!

Don’t let Him forget you!

Get to know Him on a daily basis.

Get a relationship with Him.

Pray all through the day.

Take time for your soul, you need to be your best.

Pray to praise God.

Pray to ask for God’s guidance.

Pray to ask for God’s forgiveness.

Pray whenever you feel you need to be near God.

God wants to hear from you, on a daily basis.

Turn over to God what you cannot control.

Tell your children you pray.

Teach your children to pray.

Pray with your children.

Pray with your children:

  • At all meals
  • At bedtime

 

God wants to walk with you each and every day.

God wants to help you with what’s going on in your life.

God is always listening.

Yes pray…

 

 I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.
Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!
                                                                  
Psalm 116: 1-2 NLT

                                       “Pray, and let God worry.”  Martin Luther

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Praise Your Children

Praising your children is loving your children.

Praising your children is something you probably don’t do enough of.

Look for opportunities to praise them throughout the day.

Reach out and touch them when you praise them.

You can’t praise them enough!

Praising builds self esteem in your children.

Be sure the praise is genuine and warranted.

Catch your children doing something right; then Praise them.  Right then. Don’t wait.

Pat your children on the back for jobs well done!

Praise them immediately when they do good.

Remember how good it feels when someone praises you.  Your children will too!

Do it more often…

Do it more often…

Do it more often…

“Judicious praise is to children what the sun is to flowers.”

                                                                                                                 Unknown

 

A cartoon shows Dennis the Menace sitting in the corner, with a tear in his eye.

And he says,

“How come I don’t have a special place to sit

 when I do something NICE?”522826_494864223870839_1538353217_n

 

 

 

One Day at a Time

Take being a single parent one step at a time.

Don’t try to learn everything you need to learn all at once.

Give yourself the luxury of time.

Life is fast-paced, but this is a time to slow it down.

This is a time to circle the wagons for you and your children.

Take it day-to-day. Not week-to-week or month-to-month.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

There is always tomorrow.

Remember, the tortoise did beat the heir.

 

 

“One day at a time – this is enough.

Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone;

 and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not come.

Live in the present, and make it so beautiful

 it will be worth remembering.”

                                                                                    Unknown

 

 

“Each journey begins with a single step.”

                                                                                                Chinese Proverbquote-one-day-at-a-time

 

 

 

Mothers – Single Parent Style

You are one of 10.4 million single-parent mothers in the United States.

You are not alone.

You’re required to wear many hats now.

Others before you have done it successfully – you will too.

Mom – You’re the GREATEST! Even if no one tells you so…

Have fun with it.

Every child needs a mother they can count on.

Children thrive when they have an involved mother – someone who loves them, knows them, guides them, and helps them achieve their destiny.

At work, you’re expected to set goals, meet deadlines, and win at all costs.  At home you’re supposed to be tender, compassionate and supportive.

Mothering your children successfully is a process that includes little, everyday events and time together.

Connect with other single mothers.

Your role is to be there for your children.

As a single parent mother, you’re forced into many traditional male roles in order to survive in your home.

Your children learn how to be husbands and wives by watching their parents.  Now you are at times both parents.

Remember – to your children you’re mommy-riffic!

You are now officially now a single-parent Mom.

 

“The toughest part of motherhood is the inner worrying and not showing it.”                                                                                    Audrey Hepburn

 

“Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me.”          Alice Walker

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Out of School – Summers and Holidays

You must plan, plan, plan – you can’t plan enough.

Ask, ask, ask – you can’t ask enough for help and assistance.

You need EXTRA help during the summers and holidays

Enroll your children in:

  • Summer camp
  • Church retreats
  • YMCA, YWCA, Boys and Girls clubs
  • Church day camps 

Plan in advance – at least one month ahead.

Plan for camps several months in advance.

Put your children’s summer activities on your calendar.

Adjust your schedule to fit the new “out of school” schedules.

Ask your place of employment for some Flex-Time during these hectic times.

Yes, although summers and holidays are crazy times, you will survive these times.

Remember, you are making memories for you and your kids…

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