JAMES CRUISE Ministries Blog

God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.

Archive for the month “October, 2013”

Attend Your Children’s Events and Activities

ATTEND ALL your children’s events and activities THAT YOU CAN.

Your children’s events and activities are “Important” to your children.

Events not to miss:

  • School plays
  • Field trips
  • Parties
  • School projects
  • Team sports
  • Award ceremonies
  • Any other events that the other parents attend

Get involved in your children’s lives through their activities.

Your children translate your attendance and involvement in their activities in direct proportion to how much you care for and love them.

OTHER PARENTS ATTEND – YOU SHOULD TOO ! ! !

Your child’s worst feelings will be to watch other children with their parent or parents while they stand around by themselves after an event or activity wondering where you are, why you didn’t love them enough to come and be with them.

Ask your work place to give you flex-time so you can attend your child’s events and activities.

This is a “BIG DEAL” to your children.  Let me say it again a “BIG, BIG DEAL” to your children.

   ” In 1950 the time parents spent with their children was 54%, today it is 18%.”

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Praise Yourself

You are wonderful!

Always remember it!

Don’t take yourself for granted.

You need to be praised, also.

Praising yourself is good for you.

Everyone needs to be praised.

We all want to feel good.

You want to feel good.

You can’t praise yourself enough!

 

“Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit:

we cannot flower and grow without it.”

                                                                        Jess Lair

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Mothers – Raising Sons

You must understand that boys and girls express themselves differently.

Gender can make a difference in your relationship with your children.

Raising a son is different than raising a daughter.

Children tend to get along better with the same sex parent.

Boys tend to adjust worse than girls to becoming a child of a single parent.

Girls adjust better because they mature faster than boys.

Communicating with your son and daughter will be quite different.

Your son will think in terms of logic and solving problems because a male has a more active left brain.

A son tends to take divorce harder.

Most moms feel it is much harder raising a teenage son than a daughter.

Your older son may feel like he must substitute for the father/husband.  Don’t let him.  Remember, he is your son, not your husband.

“For a single mother the project of raising a boy is the most fulfilling project she can hope for. She can watch him, as a child, play the games she was not allowed to play; she can invest in him her ideas, aspirations, ambitions and values – or whatever she has left of them; she can watch her son, who came from her flesh and whose life was sustained by her work and devotion, embody her in the world. So while the project of raising a boy is fraught with ambivalence and leads inevitably to bitterness, it is the only project that allows a woman to be -to be through her son, to live through her son.” Andrea Dworkin

Mother Raising Sons

Fathers – Raising Daughters

Raising a daughter is different than raising a son.

You need to listen and relate to your daughter and son in different ways.

Dads must gravitate as your daughter matures from perfect little angels into rebellious teens to accomplished women.

Make your daughter your pride and joy.

Most dads are at a loss when it comes to relating to their daughters.  See, you’re not alone.

You want to become your daughter’s friend, her cheerleader and her biggest supporter.

Finding a strong and capable female role model or mentor is critical to her success in growing up: either a grandmother, aunt, mom of a friend, church leader, athletic coach, teacher or trusted friend or relative.

Spend quality time with her.  She needs to feel your support.

Talk to her about things important to her.

Daughters love to be hugged by their fathers.  Daughters love to hear their fathers tell them “I love you”.

When in doubt, ask her mother or another woman.

Help her feel pretty.

Fake it till you make it – As dads, we usually don’t “get” what the big deal is with things like pony tails, accessories or that one “pretty” outfit.

Don’t over protect her.  This is a tough one for single dads.  If you over protect, your daughter will either rebel or become dependent.

Your daughter doesn’t want you to fix her issues, she wants you to listen for understanding and then let her learn to work her own solution.

Read: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker

 

 “A daughter may outgrow your lap,

but she will never outgrow your heart.”

                                                                                                 Father Daughter

Surviving the Holidays: A GriefShare Program

FirstBaptistChurch, Jackson, Mississippi

Monday November 18th, 6:00 pm – 7:30 pm

In past years, the Christmas holiday season may have been a time of great anticipation and excitement… but this year, the prospect of facing the holidays without your loved one may cause anxiety and dread.

You are not alone.

Join us for a special holiday program by GriefShare that will help you to find strength and healing, plus, it provides tools for you to move forward in your daily walk through the deep pain and loss.

Facilated by First Baptist Jackson’s Congregational Care Minister, Dennis Daniels.

To  register, call our Congregational Care office at 601-949-1907

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Why I Am a Christian

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

By Maya Angelou

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not shouting ‘I’m clean livin”
I’m whispering ‘I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.’

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not trying to be strong.
I ‘m professing that I’m weak and
need His strength to carry on.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and
need God to clean my mess.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but,
God believes I am worth it.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I still feel the sting of pain..
I have my share of heartaches,
so I call upon His name.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow!

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Recommended Book:

For those cohabitating or thinking about cohabitation

“Living Together – Myths, Risks & Answers” by Mike & Harriet McManus

Cofounders of Marriage Savers

The average length of cohabitation is 15 months. The rate of divorce for those that choose to cohabitate before marriage is approximately 80%. Cohabitation is not the gateway to a happy and long lasting marriage that many believe it to be.

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Risks in Cohabitation

  1. Nearly 50% of all cohabitating couples break up before a marriage ever takes place.
  2. Half of cohabitating relationships end within 15 months- without a wedding.
  3. The rate of divorce for those that choose to cohabitate before marriage is 80%.
  4. There are about 5.4 million couples now cohabitating at any given time in the U.S. In a year’s time, between 7 and 9 million couples have cohabited.
  5. Cohabitating couples suffer much higher rates of depression than the married.
  6. Women are far more likely to be abused by a live-in boyfriend than a husband.
  7. When cohabiting couples marry, they suffer higher rates of infidelity than those who did not live together before taking their vows.
  8. The number of never-married Americans soared from 21 million in 1970 to 52 million in 2005.
  9. The longer one cohabitates, the greater the danger of a future divorce.
  10. Even a month’s cohabitation damages a couple’s relationship.
  11. “Premarital divorce or breakup” of a cohabitating couple is every bit as painful as a real divorce.
  12. Typically, women are far more committed than men.
  13. The proportion of cohabitating unions that end in marriage within 3 years is 33%.
  14. The law protects the rights of divorced spouses; it does not protect separating cohabiters unless the couple has signed a legal agreement (Joint tenants with Rights of Survivorship), which only 10% of cohabiting couples have done.
  15. “Men were less dedicated in their marriages if they had lived with their partners before marriage,” according to Dr. Scott Stanley in his 2005 book, The Power of Commitment.
  16. Cohabitation leads to getting wed for all the wrong reasons.
  17. The number of unmarried senior couples has increased 60% in the last decade. Still relatively small at 280,000 couples over age 65 in 2006, according to Census. Most elders do marry, not cohabitate.

Cohabitation has become a substitute for marriage. A bad substitute!

The rate of divorce for those that choose to cohabitate before marriage is 80%. “If you dream of marrying someday, don’t move in together,” or “Please move out of that cohabitating situation.

From: Living Together – Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike & Harriet McManus, Cofounders of Marriage Savers

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Cohabitors Tend to Be…….

Cohabitating couples tend to be younger

Cohabitors tend to be less educated

Cohabitors tend to have lower incomes

Cohabitors tend to be more liberal

Cohabitors tend to be less religious

Cohabitors tend to be less committed

Cohabitors tend to be more selfish

Approximately 58% of those who marry were living together (cohabitating), versus virtually none fifty years ago.

An astounding 70% of women in England currently cohabitate before marriage, compared to only 5% in the mid-1960s.

Cohabitors who marry are 50% more likely to divorce.

Cohabitation has diverted millions of people from ever getting married.

Living together unmarried is a trap. If it does lead to marriage, it does not lead to happy committed marriages.

Cohabitation has become a substitute for marriage. A bad substitute!

The rate of divorce for those that choose to cohabitate before marriage is about 80%. “If you dream of marrying someday, don’t move in together,” or “Please move out of that cohabitating situation.

From: Living Together – Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike & Harriet McManus, Cofounders of Marriage Savers

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The Unpleasant Truth About Cohabitation

As children we sang a nursery rhyme:

 

Bob and Bettie sitting in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love,

Then comes marriage,

Then comes baby in a baby carriage.

 

Today this nursery rhyme should be sung:

 

First comes sex,

Then comes living together,

Then comes pregnancy,

Then comes abortion or a baby,

Then half split

While some marry.

Of those who do,

Two-thirds divorce.

 

America has moved from a culture of marriage to a culture of cohabitation. Living together has become the dominant way American couples start their life together.

In just 2 generations the number of cohabitating couples has sky-rocketed, from 439,000 to 5.4 million (not including gay couples). This number only represents couples cohabitating in a given month. Over the course of a year, the numbers may be 8 to 10 million.

By contrast, only 2.23 million marriages were recorded in 2005. Thus, more than twice as many couples are living together outside of wedlock at any moment as marry in a whole year.

Cohabitation has become a substitute for marriage. A bad substitute!

The rate of divorce for those that choose to cohabitate before marriage is about 80%. “If you dream of marrying someday, don’t move in together,” or “Please move out of that cohabitating situation.

From : Living Together – Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike & Harriet McManus, Cofounders of Marriage Savers

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