JAMES CRUISE Ministries Blog

God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.

Archive for the tag “Parenting”

God and You and Your Children

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Significant Transitions

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In Just 2 Hours…

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Your Children Need You…

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Everything You Need To Know About Parenting in 12 Jim Gaffigan Quotes

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The Original Dad Bod

Everything You Need To Know About Parenting in 12 Jim Gaffigan Quotes

If you’re like most parents, when your kid’s first full written sentence is “Dad is fat,” you go find a book about how to raise respectful children or properly address body image issues. If you’re Jim Gaffigan, you go write a book about how to be a good parent when you have no idea what you’re doing — and use that sentence as the title. Gaffigan has plenty to say about parenthood, and for good reason; his brood of 5 kids provides endless material including these 12 timeless revelations.

On How Kids Perceive Sleep Compared To Adults
“Bedtime makes you realize how completely incapable you are of being in charge of another human being. My children act like they’ve never been to sleep before. ‘Bed? What’s that? No, I’m not doing that.’ They never want to go to bed. This is another thing that I will never have in common with my children. Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is, ‘When can I come back here?’ It’s the carrot that keeps me motivated. Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings. Once the lights are out, you can expect at least an hour of inmates clanging their tin cups on the cell bars.”

On Your Actual Purpose For Toddlers
“I used to wonder why I had hair on my legs, but now I know it’s for my toddler sons and daughters to pull themselves up off the ground with as I scream in pain.”

On The Law Behavioral Averages
“Children have a tendency to behave as poorly as the most poorly behaved kid in the room. The laws of physics dictate that if there is a kid screaming and running in the hallway of a hotel, all the other children will scream and run in the hallway of the hotel.”

On The Flawed Programming Of Toddlers
“Toddler judgment is horrible. They don’t have any. Put a 12-month-old on a bed, and they will immediately try and crawl off headfirst like a lemming on a mindless migration mission. But the toddler mission is never mindless. They have two goals: find poison and find something to destroy.”

On Whether Or Not You’re Qualified To Be A Parent
“Every night before I get my one hour of sleep, I have the same thought: ‘Well, that’s a wrap on another day of acting like I know what I’m doing.’ I wish I were exaggerating, but I’m not. Most of the time, I feel entirely unqualified to be a parent. I call these times being awake.”

On Kids’ Music
“There should be a children’s song, ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It, Keep It To Yourself And Let Your Dad Sleep.”

On What It’s Like For You When You Have A Lot Of Kids …
“You know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.”

… And What It’s Like For Everyone Else
“Big families are like waterbed stores; they used to be everywhere, and now they’re just weird.”

On Babies Versus Roommate
“Babies are the worst roommates. They’re unemployed. They don’t pay rent. They keep insane hours. Their hygiene is horrible. If you had a roommate that did any of the things babies do, you’d ask them to move out. ‘Do you remember what happened last night? Today you’re all smiles, but last night you were hitting the bottle really hard. Then you started screaming, and you threw up on me. Then you passed out and wet yourself. I went into the other room to get you some dry clothes, I came back, and you were all over my wife’s breasts! Right in front of me, her husband! Dude, you gotta move out.'”

On That Cat Steven’s Song
“The song goes, ‘Morning has broken,’ and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it, they’ll never admit it.”

On Sleep Training
“There are two philosophies when it comes to getting young children to sleep. There is ‘sleep training,’ which basically involves putting your kids to bed and listening to them scream all night; or there is ‘attachment parenting,’ which essentially involves lying down with your kids, cuddling them, and then listening to them scream all night.”

On The Secret To Life
“People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?”

Bad Day – Good Life

Become a Super Single Parent

So you’re having a bad day – it will be over soon.

Everybody has bad days – even single parents.

Your children may be having a bad day, too.

A good life is made up of both good days and bad days – usually more good than bad.

Having a bad day – it too shall pass!

“Try again.  Fail again.  Fail better.”     Samuel Beckett

“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.”   Henry Moore

“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.”  Denis Waitely

“This too, shall pass.”    William Shakespeare

AUTHORITY – Running Your Home – Who’s In Charge?

As a Single Parent:

You and you alone are in charge of running your home.  Not your children, not your ex spouse, not anyone else.  Only You!  Period! It’s your life, control your own destiny. You’re the adult – they’re the children. Your children should not run their own lives; you know what’s best for them. You rule your house, it does not rule you. You will feel better and less stressed when things are under YOUR CONTROL. Life will be better when you are the one at the steering wheel, in control.

“Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes.”  Chinese Proverb

“The wisest have the most authority.”  Plato

Our Children – A Priority?

We may SAY our children are a priority, but if we regularly choose something else above them, that’s telling.  Our actions, not words, always tell where our true priorities are!

The Loneliest Men & Women

The loneliest men and women are those older men and women whose children don’t want anything to do with them.  As a single parent you will never have enough time for everything you need to do.  Remember to take time for your children.  They’re what your life is all about now.  How are you going to keep your children actively in your life, all your life? I am reminded of the words from the song by Harry Chapin, “Cat’s in the Cradle”.

 

Cat’s in the Cradle

Harry Chapin

My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home dad?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then son
You know we’ll have a good time then

Lonely

 

Children Suffer Significantly

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Children suffer significantly when a parent dies or their parents separate or divorce. It’s traumatic to the children. You must consider them in any decisions you make.

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